Red Sonja: Frequently Asked Questions

Isn’t Kalidor just Conan?  Why didn’t they call him Conan anyway?

By the time Red Sonja was made into a film, the character trademark was owned by a new company, Red Sonja LLC. The film was made by a different company from the folk who did Conan the Barbarian. Therefore, the Conan name couldn’t be used.

Does Sonja really call Queen Gedren a man?

Nope, she says “You are mad.”  Chalk it up to Bridgette Nielson’s accent.

Kull the Conqueror

So, it exists.

Yes.

Is it any goo-

No.

Not even in a campy, fun, light-hea-

No.

Not even as a bad mo-

No.

Come on, it can’t be less faithful to the source material than Conan the Barbarian, can it?

Oh, it can. Sweet Valka, it can…

Conan the Barbarian (2011) and King Conan: Crown of Iron

Is this the King Conan movie I’ve been hearing about?

No. King Conan: Crown of Iron was written by John Milius, and intended to continue where Conan the Barbarian left off (ignoring Conan the Destroyer). It was to be the second film of a projected trilogy, preceded by Conan the Barbarian and followed by King Conan: Beneath My Sandalled Feet. Crown of Iron has been in development for twenty years, and came close to being produced a number of times: however, various obstacles transpired to keep the film in development hell. After a deal with the Wachowski Brothers and Warner Brothers fell through, the project was abandoned. Another project intended to be the third Conan film eventually became Kull the Conqueror.

Conan the Barbarian (2011) Behind the Scenes

So who’s directing the film?

Marcus Nispel.

I thought it was Brett Ratner?

Brett Ratner was never officially tied to the Conan film, but was apparently in talks with the producers, and the internet was shortly aflame with indignation at the prospect.

What production studio is making the film?

Four production companies are involved in financing and producing Conan: Lionsgate, Millennium Films, Nu Image Films, and Paradox Entertainment.

Will they use Basil Poledouris’ theme for this new film?

No. In an interview for Fantasy.fr, Howard scholar and editor Patrice Louinet said “I can tell only tell you that it won’t be rock music (as in 300 or Clash of the Titans.) It won’t be a Poledouris 2 either.”

Who’s doing the visual effects?

Shaun Smith and Scott Wheeler, the creature designer and makeup artist of 300, have signed on.

When is it coming out?

19th August, 2011.

Conan the Barbarian (2011): A New Cimmerian

So who’s playing Conan?

Jason Momoa. Even now, a number of websites erroneously claim Kellan Lutz or Roland Kickinger is the “front runner” for the role, and some even claim them to have won it, despite the fact that principal photography for Conan ended in May.

Isn’t Jason Momoa black?

No. Jason Momoa is of mixed ancestry: his father is Native Hawaiian, while his mother is German/Irish/Native American. Don’t let the dreadlocks and goatee on Stargate Atlantis fool you: production photos reveal a barbarian not unlike Howard’s own descriptions.

Well, if they couldn’t get Arnold, why didn’t they cast Roland Kickinger, The Rock, Triple H, or another body-builder or wrestler?

The role of Howard’s Conan is a good deal more complex than the popular conception of the “big dumb barbarian” stereotype. Conan is cunning, intelligent, knowledgeable and emotive. Arnold, while underrated as an actor (he won a Golden Globe for his first major acting role in Stay Hungry) was still inexperienced and raw: combined with Milius and Stone’s hugely divergent character rewrite, the Conan of Conan the Barbarian was very different from the character Howard created.

Conan in Conan the Barbarian was many things, but he was at least crafty, resourceful and given to moments of refreshing insight. By the time of Conan the Destroyer, however, he was reduced to an insulting caricature, a stupid barbarian who cannot count to six or make decisions without a full five seconds to consider it.

Besides, Momoa’s pretty buff in the role:

Conan the Barbarian (2011) and the Franchise Without Arnold

Couldn’t they have just waited for Schwarzenegger to leave office and make Crown of Iron with John Milius?

A lot has changed with the Conan property holders in the past ten years. When Conan the Barbarian was released, it affected not only the popular conception of Conan, but CPI’s own approach. Many of the elements introduced in the film were repeated in games, comics and tv series: the Conan franchise became less about Robert E. Howard’s creation, and more about Milius’ interpretation. By the 1990s, the Conan franchise was in a rut: no less than three failed comic relaunches, a cancelled video game, a critically panned tv series, and two incredibly watered-down Saturday morning cartoons.

In recent years, Paradox Entertainment has gained control of the Conan trademark from the previous holders. Paradox has completely reinvigorated Conan, bringing out new comics under Dark Horse, new video games (2004’s Conan: The Dark Axe was the first Conan game released since 1991’s Conan the Cimmerian), and a host of other media and merchandise.

In nearly all the new media, Conan has been re-imagined without using Arnold Schwarzenegger’s likeness, going back to the original stories and starting from scratch in establishing the visual style of Conan. The Cimmerians of Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures and the two Conan games from Cauldron and Nihilistic software do not have an Austrian accent, nor brown hair, nor any of the elements that instinctively tie the character to Conan the Barbarian. Paradox & CPI are looking to bring Conan into the new millennium by going back to the character’s literary roots, rather than continuing the precedent set by Conan the Barbarian, which had run the character into the rut it was in during the ’90s.

Will Arnold at least make a cameo in the film?

Unlikely. Schwarzenegger’s last cameo was a one-day appearance on the set of The Expendables, where he only had to wear a suit. An appearance in Conan would need costume fittings, hair styling, makeup and more. That said, there is a possibility he could be involved in some other manner, either providing a voiceover narration, or even lending his likeness to a digital cameo as in Terminator Salvation.

Conan the Barbarian (2011): Remake, Reboot, or Reimagining?

Right, so what’s this film then? Is it a sequel to Conan the Barbarian?

No. This film is entirely unconnected to the previous films, and is intended as a franchise reboot akin to Christopher Nolan’s Batman Begins, complete with a new origin story by Thomas Dean Donnelly and Joshua Oppenheimer, with tweaks by Sean Hood and Andrew Lobel.

Is it a remake of Conan the Barbarian?

No. A remake implies a film is based on an earlier film: this is intended to be a new adaptation of the Conan character, who first appeared in the pages of Weird Tales in1932. The story written by Oliver Stone and John Milius for the 1982 film is entirely original, and outside of a few scenes extracted from two or three Howard stories and adoption of some names and elements, it bears very little in common with Howard’s creation.

But if it isn’t a remake, why does the plot sound just like Conan the Barbarian?

It is true that the storyline bears a number of similarities to Conan the Barbarian: the young barbarian whose village is massacred, one of his parents murdered by an evil warlord with sorcerous power, and a quest for vengeance across the Hyborian lands all figure in what is known in the upcoming film:

• Our protagonist is a young Cimmerian named Conan
• His father is a blacksmith
• His village is attacked by a band of raiders
• His father is killed
• The raider’s leader takes his father’s sword
• Conan eventually resolves to avenge his father’s death and village’s slaughter
• The rest of the film follows Conan as an adult

However, there are significant divergences too:

• Conan is not enslaved and taken north; he goes south and joins up with a group of pirates
• Conan is not chained to the Wheel of Pain for 20 years; he lives a life of piracy through to adulthood
• Conan is not forced into pit fighting; he gains experience in real battles, not gladiatorial combat
• Conan is not taken to the Far East to learn eastern martial arts; he learns how to fight naturally, not through schooling
• Conan doesn’t discover an Atlantean Sword in a crypt; he uses whatever weapon suits his purposes
• Conan is not crucified on a Tree of Woe
• Conan does not travel to Zamora
• There is no Black Sun Cult of Set
• There are no Mounds of the Dead
• There is no Battle at the Mounds
• There is no Tower of the Serpent
• There is no Mountain of Power
• Conan is not resurrected by demonic forces and the sacrifice of a loved one
• Thulsa Doom does not appear in the film
• King Osric does not appear in the film
• Valeria does not appear in the film: Katarzyna Wolejnio’s minor character is completely unrelated to Sandahl Bergman’s
• Rexor does not appear in the film
• The Witch does not appear in the film: Rose McGowan’s “half-human, half-witch” Marique is not the same as Cassandra Gova’s witch
• Subotai does not appear in the film
• The Wizard does not appear in the film
• The Princess, King Osric’s Daughter, does not appear in the film
• Red-Hair, the slaver who frees Conan, does not appear in the film
• The “Mongol” General and Turanian Officer do not appear in the film
• The Pederast Priest does not appear in the film
• Thorgrim does not appear in the film
• The Sword Master does not appear in the film
• None of Milius’ or Stone’s famous dialogue is in the film
• None of Basil Poledouris’ iconic themes and melodies is in the film
• None of Ron Cobb’s production design is in the film
• None of John Bloomfield’s costume design is in the film
• None of Jody Sampson’s swords are in the film

.. in short, next to nothing from Conan the Barbarian, save the bare bones of a young Cimmerian’s quest for revenge for the murder of his tribe and parents, will be making an appearance.

Conan and the Myth of the Special Sword

So what’s the story with the Atlantean Sword?

There isn’t one. Conan didn’t really have a favoured sword.

But Conan the Barbarian–

Forget Conan the Barbarian for a minute.

… But in Conan the Adventurer–

Forget that too.

… I mean, the live action-

Forget that too!

Ok, then what was Conan’s favourite weapon in the Howard stories?

There was none. Conan’s favourite weapon was the one in his hand in that story, and that varied from location to location. In “The Tower of the Elephant,” it was a simple dagger; in “Queen of the Black Coast” it was an Aquilonian broadsword; in “The People of the Black Circle,” it was a tulwar; in “Beyond the Black River,” it was an axe; in The Hour of the Dragon, goes through a dozen weapons.

The idea of Conan being partnered to a particular weapon subtly ties Conan to other hero/sword combos in history, mythology and myth, to the point where the two are inseparable. Bring up Excalibur, and one immediately thinks of King Arthur; a mention of Stormbringer conjures Elric; Anduril recalls Aragorn, Hrunting evokes Beowulf. There was no such duality in the original Howard stories: there, swords and other weapons were tools to be used, not symbols to be venerated or scrutinized.

The special sword of great power, antiquity or quality is central to the mythology of Conan the Barbarian, as well as in the live action and animated series, but it has no basis in the original stories.

Conan: Red Nails

Wasn’t there an animated Conan movie?

Yes, Conan: Red Nails was announced as a direct-to-DVD movie in the vein of recent Marvel and DC movies.

What’s it about?

It may be hard to believe, but this is going to be the first ever feature-length adaptation of a Robert E. Howard story: the five previous cinematic Howard adaptations are all original stories based loosely on his characters and settings. The tale in question, “Red Nails,” is one of the most celebrated Conan stories, and considered by many to be one of Howard’s finest tales altogether. It is a tale which encapsulates all of Howard’s themes and elements, with a powerful heroine, intimidating villain, fascinating setting, and plenty of action, sensuality and adventure.

So what’s taking so long?

Apparently, production has halted due to many factors, and is at a halt. Its current status is unknown.

Who’s voicing Conan?

Ron Perlman.

Hey, didn’t Ron Perlman do Conan in the video game?

Yes, he did.

Awesome!  So who’s voicing the other characters?

Conan: Red Nails boasts a fairly star-studded cast: Mark Hamill as Tolkemec, Clancy Brown as Olmec, James Marsden as Techotl, Marg Helgenberger as Tascela, and Cree Summer as Valeria.

Wait, Valeria?

Yes, Valeria.

… Didn’t she die in Conan the Barbarian?

You’re thinking of a different Valeria: this is the Valeria of the original Robert E. Howard story “Red Nails,” who is, aside from sharing her name and some characteristics, unrelated to the Valeria of Conan the Barbarian.

Conan the Destroyer: Frequently Asked Questions

What happened to Subotai?

Gerry Lopez did not return to his role. In his place, Malak was created, though this created more than a few continuity problems: notably, Malak seems to recognize the camel from the incident in Conan the Barbarian, even though he couldn’t possibly do so. Either that, or Conan told him about the time he heroically decked a defenseless dromedary, and Malak suggested the camel they encounter could in fact be the one from Conan’s anecdote.

In the comics, Zula was a man, but in Conan the Destroyer Zula’s a woman.  Why did they give Zula a gender reassignment?

Mostly because the logic went “Zula sounds like a girl’s name.”  Grace Jones was a hot property back in the early 80s. (more to come)

Is Andre the Giant in this?

Yes, the famous wrestler and professional huge person of The Princess Bride fame portrayed Dagoth. If further proof is needed, here is a whimsical photograph of Andre, Chamberlain and Schwarzenegger:

Wasn’t Olivia D’Abo underage when she made this?

Olivia D’Abo was fifteen.  Not that this would be a problem in a pre-industrial society — in fact, thirteen was a perfectly acceptible marriable age in many cultures — but in today’s climate it’s understandably dodgy.

Isn’t it hilarious that they got Wilt Chamberlain to defend a girl’s virginity?

Yes, it was hilarious when it was first pointed out back in 1984.